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"Entropy always increases" I mutter, mixing the peas into the mashed potatoes with my fork

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In this toot it's the Masterpiece Theater intro Show more

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I like the toots that are easy to figure out

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i identify with stuff that fizzles, can fizzle, or has fizzled

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leave this restroom and never return porcelain ghost

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what IS the fluid that goes into an 8 ball anyways

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LA Chargers stands for Larger Arger Chargers

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every time i have to dry my hands in a public bathroom with one of those no-touch dryers

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i think i've got a client who lives under my bed and he's got demands and needs

I wonder how many babies one could take on a plane, there has to be a limit right? Where the TSA is like Sir I don't care if they all have boarding passes you can't bring 12 babies through security how are you even carrying this many?

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On Twitter my account was so small nobody interacted and it felt like posting into the void, whereas on Mastodon if nobody interacts with my posts it’s because they’re shitty and bad.

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So you were able to buy a house because you.........had money, how interesting

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that thing when you're a kid and a book mentions some food you've never heard of and you imagine it to be the most amazing thing in the world then one day as an adult you come across it like *this* is treacle?? this tastes like fart honey what the heck

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"Magnets, how do they work" Haha that's so dumb every body knows that, it's the.. uh.. magnetic fields.. you know.. magnetism..

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screaming at the intern because nobody told me about "Music" before. oh my euros this is gonna be the future. songs are such a Game Changer. this is huge. imagine: A Band, Playing Instruments. growing dizzy from the implications. what the hell is an album. who the hell are drums

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