(invention of coffee)
accidentally burn weird bush beans (whoops)
can't find dust bin, puts beans in sock
slips on banana peel, knocking hot water into beans (in sock) that drips down into bucket on floor
slips on second banana peel falling face first into bucket accidentally drinking hot bean sock water

[scene: the discovery that cow milk is Good and safe for humans]
*watching a baby cow drinking from the udder*
fuck... that looks so good... someone hold that cow still... im goin in

@lynnesbian @selfsame

as if the cow would have cared

back then they were even less mobile, primitive cows rolled around the landscape

I'm sure I saw this in a Christian history documentary once or twice

@selfsame I suspect there was that one weird guy who poured hot water over *everything*.

"There he goes again."
"What's he pouring water over today?"
"Some beans burned during that forest fire."

I figure 6 months after he's been pestering everyone to try it someone did just do he'd leave them alone.

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