hi there, i am back home from the hospital. lost more than a couple of cc's of blood this morning. varicose veins run in my family and there'd been one that'd been engorged for a while.

thank you for your kind thoughts, everyone! i'm resting at home and will be returning to work tomorrow. my room is a bloody mess and i'll have to figure out a way to blot out the blood in my mattress and in my carpet ๐Ÿ˜ซ

@softmetals

scientists: dinosaurs had feathers

jk rowling: -frowning- snape was Good, Actually

scientists: -bristling- velociraptors were very smol

jk rowling: -gets on a podium- Nagini was a Korean woman

scientists: -sweating- dinosaurs sounded like pussies!!

jk rowling: -yelling- DUMBLEDORE WAS A FUCKIN WEEB

*me on first day as a vet in a smashmouth-themed animal sanctuary*: hey now, you're a stray dog, whip your balls out, get spayed

To increase the bandwidth, they started up new pylons all over the island. Due to the sheer amount of potential, you could hear the hum of the transmission in any quiet moment. Like the sound of a TV tuned to a dead channel.โฃ

Some of you have never read a thesaurus and it's apparent

After the fall of man, it was unfair to expect the monkeys to fix our mistakes

I get some images and I connect oneโฃโฃ
piece to another. That's the storyโฃโฃ
line. Then I explain the story line toโฃโฃ
the reader. You should be very kindโฃโฃ
when you explain something. If youโฃโฃ
think, It's okay, I know that, it's aโฃโฃ
very arrogant thing. Easy words andโฃโฃ
good metaphors; good allegory. Soโฃโฃ
that's what I do. I explain veryโฃโฃ
carefully and clearly.โฃโฃ

Take me down to synesthesia city,
where the grass tastes green and the girls sound pretty

On the bus listening to med students discussing avoiding biochemistry modules because they are too hard is high key worrying tbh fam

i need an alt for when I first wake up for the "toast needs to moisturize" kind of toots

imagine if instead of streaming video, YouTube hollowed out humans into actual tubes?

I cross post both to mastodon and the comments section on weather.com articles

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